dad do you hate me because im a female? it's not fair with all the stuff my 18 year old brother did like stealing money and getting locked up in jail you

14 years

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dad do you hate me because im a female?
it’s not fair with all the stuff my 18 year old brother did like stealing money and getting locked up in jail you still treat him like nothing happend.
and why do you always blame me for evrything why dont you care about me when im hurt or sad you dont even remember when is my b-day or how old i am!
when i ask u for money you never give me any yet your people from your hometown you give them money like nothing even if its 10,000 it dont matter they deserve it better than your own daughter right?
wrong you never care about me plus i think you dont even love me your always calling me fat, idiot, p************, garbage, dog!
you always ignore me and know since im 15 im gonna get a job so i can go to college and get a good job so i can earn my own godamm money you never had exept for your godam f****** family in your hometown!
me and my 2 other sisters wonder why do treat my brother better than us and why do you hit my mom and us you know what i really dont care hope when you retire go to your hometown and your homwtown family what they f****** deserve f****** money dont worry mom im not gonna leave you i still with you forever til you die and i really dont give a s*** if my dad dies hell i wont even go to his dam funeral dont worry mom ill get a good job so i can take you where ever you want that my dad was too cheap enough to take you! my lifes not fair but what goes around comes around!

New Confession

I know the world doesn’t revolve around me. It f’ucking should do though.

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Last year I befriended a guy I met in a hospital. This was new for me but I needed help and barely felt alive. He was from the same city as I and I found him refreshing. He was weird but the boring ones are the scary ones.

After we were both were out of the hospital, within a week I got a letter in the mail. It was from him. We are both from the same city and he saw me near my house. I texted him my phone number. I figured he was safe being he was a good guy and I liked him,

He is even more unstable than I am and I am no saint but I have had past issues abusing and selling drugs and he has various disorders as well. I triggered him by trying to manipulate him and thought he would go away.

I am not proud of this and I know very well he isn’t proud of his part either, We just simply did not mesh which was both his words and I. The thing is we have a lot in common but he’s more open about his problems and I’m embarrassed of mine. That didn’t seem to matter to him and it horrified me that he wasn’t as judgmental as others. I am used to bad people into something when I was the whole time with him. He knew it but let it go. Why!???

In the end, I used and insulted him often and he knew it but helped me over and over and tried to be my friend while I pretended to attempt to be his. Many see him as crazy now being he fell apart in other ways with other people in this horrible city but we are the crazy ones for taking advantage of good people. Ashamed and disgusted with myself yet also afraid I’ll one day be as open as he was with me. What is wrong with me??