I should have been saving money this whole time…..instead i spent it on drugs. I cant believe i spent months throwing my money away. Im supposed to be doing better. I should be doing something with my life. I feel like a p************ person. this whole time i could have been helping my parents out or buying things i need. Not living paycheck to paycheck. Left with only 80 cents in bank account. Every week i do this to myself. Im going to quit smoking. I dont want to. Its the only thing that helps my mind calm down. If i dont smoke i just sit here going around in circles in my head. All the bad. I cant stop it from flowing through my mind. Im just a p************ daughter who deserves to die.