7 years
x
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I want to die but I know I probably don’t deserve it because I’m too young (minor) and I haven’t got enough experience to say such a thing but honestly
im just sick of everything including myself, like i see no point on going to school or studying.
Sometimes when I get real angry I start writing about how I wish my parents would die because it’ll make thing easier for me, or how I would kill myself, then leave a suicide letter telling them that I never forgave them for what they did to me… etc.

But when I’m not angry.. Well, i’m not like that at all. I normally see myself as a caring extrovert, but when I arrive home I flip, like a switch or sth. It’s really easy to piss me off or make me cry when at home. I even hit myself sometimes (im too scared of cutting) till I see bruises and that makes me satisfied. Sometimes I’m scared of myself, it’s like I have a split persona or something. Scary

Anyway.. I want to die or just be left alone in a peaceful village where nobody knows me and where I can do whatever I want unlike at home. i feel in jail while in my house.

New Confession

I was only 9 when my brother put his finger into my p****. I didn’t know what he was doing to I didn’t even object. After a while I just expected it every time he was on the sofa with me. Mommy was too busy so she never noticed. I came to like I tv especially when he put a different finger up into my Fanny . I learned later that he was kinda prepping his d*** to be able to get stiff and hard for mommy to s*** him or they could f*** in her bedroom. About 10 1/2 I happened by her door and saw them “wrestling “ on her bed. Loud sounds came from them as they tussled. When I turned 11 Billy was able to slide his “thingy” into my peepee. He made funny sounds and I got all wet and sticky like I peed in my pants. At first it was once. Then he started doing it 2 or three times a week. Mommy saw him doing it to me and later that night she spanned him with a belt. I watched. He was smiling after a while and squirted a bunch of white stuff from his “ thingy”. Mommy gave him 10 more whacks and then she bent down and took him into her mouth. Then a while later she slobbered a bunch of white stuff on his belly. Then they went to sleep. He didn’t want to put his “thingy” in me after that. I think they slept in her room after that. I always heard them “wrestling “ on the weekends too. Once in a while Billy would help me do my bath. Mommy always came in to watch. When my 13 th birthday rolled around I also began my periods. Mommy explained it all to me. S**, babies, womanhood, After that evening Billy learned what a b**** even a young 13 yr old “woman” can be. Touch my Fanny $10. Touch my tiny t****** $ 15. Touch my p**** $50.

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