I want to die because I’m tired of everything. When I was 11 my first love happened and it was with a teacher. I knew right from the start it’d be impossible for us to be together. It lasted 3 months or so. Then in 6th grade when I was 12, I fell in love with another, older and married, teacher who had a small kid. It passed after a month but this time I was devastated. I knew nothing could help me. I knew it was impossible as well, but I wanted to believe it was possible. Now I’m crushing on another, 35 year old teacher. I also know it is impossible to happen, but really want to believe it’s totally the opposite. I’m this time depressed and devastated because I know it can’t just happen. I’m so tired of it, I don’t want to love men so much older than my 14 year old self. Then comes the home abuse stuff, I can’t do anything about. Either physically and mentally am I abused. I’m really tired. I’m going to graduate from primary school this year but I don’t want to go to High school or University. I don’t want to have a job. I just want rest, nothing else here. But I can’t. Because of my feelings and problems. Yesterday I tried to cut my veins but I just have a small bruise instead. I was advised to talk to somebody about it, and so did I. But it didn’t help me and I have nobody else to talk to beside this person I contacted. Please help me somehow. Please tell me ways in which I can kill myself. Don’t tell me it’ll all pass. Don’t tell me I have people to live for. Don’t tell me all this s***, just don’t waste time for all that. Tell me how do I kill myself and I will be thankful to you forever.

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