7 years
x
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All my life I’ve been beaten, isolated and judged. I’ve got 3 labels of autism, depression and anxiety to show for it. I can’t even leave my bed because I know that I’ll f*** things up, I’ve got these voices from 10 years ago screaming on repeat and making me feel worthless. I should just end it all to make myself feel better, to make myself feel something. I don’t care if it’s pain, I’m just sick of this numbness strangling me.

New Confession

I was only 9 when my brother put his finger into my p****. I didn’t know what he was doing to I didn’t even object. After a while I just expected it every time he was on the sofa with me. Mommy was too busy so she never noticed. I came to like I tv especially when he put a different finger up into my Fanny . I learned later that he was kinda prepping his d*** to be able to get stiff and hard for mommy to s*** him or they could f*** in her bedroom. About 10 1/2 I happened by her door and saw them “wrestling “ on her bed. Loud sounds came from them as they tussled. When I turned 11 Billy was able to slide his “thingy” into my peepee. He made funny sounds and I got all wet and sticky like I peed in my pants. At first it was once. Then he started doing it 2 or three times a week. Mommy saw him doing it to me and later that night she spanned him with a belt. I watched. He was smiling after a while and squirted a bunch of white stuff from his “ thingy”. Mommy gave him 10 more whacks and then she bent down and took him into her mouth. Then a while later she slobbered a bunch of white stuff on his belly. Then they went to sleep. He didn’t want to put his “thingy” in me after that. I think they slept in her room after that. I always heard them “wrestling “ on the weekends too. Once in a while Billy would help me do my bath. Mommy always came in to watch. When my 13 th birthday rolled around I also began my periods. Mommy explained it all to me. S**, babies, womanhood, After that evening Billy learned what a b**** even a young 13 yr old “woman” can be. Touch my Fanny $10. Touch my tiny t****** $ 15. Touch my p**** $50.

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