I did something extremely stupid and tried to buy an essay off of one of those essay writing websites. I'm an English Lit student, so I should have

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I did something extremely stupid and tried to buy an essay off of one of those essay writing websites. I’m an English Lit student, so I should have absolutely 0 excuses for needing a service like this. But I chose a website that *SEEMED* to have very good reviews but turned out to be a scam and I paid 200 pounds for the service which is quite a bit of money. The essay that I got back in return is absolutely AWFUL and not even in my subject area even though I uploaded detailed instructions on the assignment and the relevant works associated with it. I am utterly ashamed of myself, completely stressed out, and heartbroken at my own stupidity. I want to tell my boyfriend but I am so, so, so afraid that he will judge me. What should I do?

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I used to go online, find girls to have online relations with. I was a teenager. It started from the start of high school, when I was 15. At worst was F, that was my bottom barrel. It was gross. I don’t know how old she was but she was younger. It was near the end, during the pandemic. I was older, she was younger. I don’t know how much younger, but I was 16 I think. She was younger. Like 2 or 3 years younger, I dunno? It was gross of me. I regret doing it but I fear my regret isn’t because of how I hurt someone, took advantage. They were ok with it in the moment, we were both on the same hookup site. But I was gross. No question about it. There was T too but that was a 16-18 age gap. I deleted the accounts. I was just gross.