I am 17, a girl, and soon to be a senior in high school in the fall. My family had a BBQ over the weekend and my cousins came to it. They live about 100

7 years

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I am 17, a girl, and soon to be a senior in high school in the fall. My family had a BBQ over the weekend and my cousins came to it. They live about 100 miles away, so I don’t see them much. I have been very close to one particular cousin. She is the same age as I am and we have always gotten along great. Since we were 13, he have been fooling around though. We would go for walks in the woods and make out and do other things to each other. Whenever I would spend the night or she would stay at my place, we would make out finger and lick each other all night after everyone else went to sleep. This has been going on for a for about 4 years now. She is openly bi but I hide my bisexuality. This weekend, we had all kinds of fun once again. She also brought a d**** with her this time. I lost my virginity to her Saturday night when she put it on and we had s**. I have never been with a guy like that. I have only made out with guys and been fingered a few times, but never anything else. I don’t know if this counts as losing my virginity or not, but my hymen did break, or I think it did, it hurt so bad at first and then I had some blood come out after we were done. Every time me and her get together, I can’t resist her, but when she leaves, I feel so bad because she is my cousin, and I swear I will never do it again, but the next time she comes around, I get so h**** for her and we always end up doing things. I know it is wrong because she is my cousin and is a girl, but I can’t stop. I feel horrible every time she leaves.

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