I did something really terrible as a kid, that looking back on it, I seriously regret. I haven't been able to forgive myself since I remembered what I did

7 years

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I did something really terrible as a kid, that looking back on it, I seriously regret. I haven’t been able to forgive myself since I remembered what I did a few months back. I sometimes cry myself to sleep because I’m so ashamed. I don’t know what to do in order to relieve some of this guilt. I can’t even talk to anyone around me because they will never see me the same way again. I need someone to vent to

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My parents didn’t do enough when raising me to teach me that actions have consequences and you can’t just be anything you want.

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I used to go online, find girls to have online relations with. I was a teenager. It started from the start of high school, when I was 15. At worst was F, that was my bottom barrel. It was gross. I don’t know how old she was but she was younger. It was near the end, during the pandemic. I was older, she was younger. I don’t know how much younger, but I was 16 I think. She was younger. Like 2 or 3 years younger, I dunno? It was gross of me. I regret doing it but I fear my regret isn’t because of how I hurt someone, took advantage. They were ok with it in the moment, we were both on the same hookup site. But I was gross. No question about it. There was T too but that was a 16-18 age gap. I deleted the accounts. I was just gross.