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a guilt
7 years
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I let my BF talk me into a 3some this weekend. I didn’t really want to, but I promised him I would try another woman, so I did. I’m not really attracted to women and I felt like a filthy skank doing it, but I love him. I laid back and let her go down on me and it was really good. She did me better than any guy ever did. I am still not attracted to women and when we kissed, I gagged when she put her tongue in my mouth and had to turn my head and stop her. I couldn’t go down on her without gagging. I tasted her a little and then stopped because I felt sick. I feel terrible about doing this. I am not gay and did not enjoy my BF f****** another woman while she licked me. I feel dirty. The worst part is him being inside of another woman. I am pretty angry with that part of it. I might have enjoyed her oral skills if he wasn’t f****** her and she was moaning and enjoying him inside her. I love him but at the same time I hate him. I can’t believe I did that for him. I sinned

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My parents didn’t do enough when raising me to teach me that actions have consequences and you can’t just be anything you want.

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I used to go online, find girls to have online relations with. I was a teenager. It started from the start of high school, when I was 15. At worst was F, that was my bottom barrel. It was gross. I don’t know how old she was but she was younger. It was near the end, during the pandemic. I was older, she was younger. I don’t know how much younger, but I was 16 I think. She was younger. Like 2 or 3 years younger, I dunno? It was gross of me. I regret doing it but I fear my regret isn’t because of how I hurt someone, took advantage. They were ok with it in the moment, we were both on the same hookup site. But I was gross. No question about it. There was T too but that was a 16-18 age gap. I deleted the accounts. I was just gross.

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