I lied to my parents that I was working on my final semester project . I wasnt. I seriously spent an entire semester on mostly anime, manga,novels,movies,

7 years

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I lied to my parents that I was working on my final semester project . I wasnt. I seriously spent an entire semester on mostly anime, manga,novels,movies, tv series and p***. I dont remember what it feels like to work hard anymore. I feel like I am letting people down all the time, but when I sit in front of my laptop, I forget all my worries and do anything but study. I hate this part of me. I am not able to break free.

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My parents didn’t do enough when raising me to teach me that actions have consequences and you can’t just be anything you want.

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I used to go online, find girls to have online relations with. I was a teenager. It started from the start of high school, when I was 15. At worst was F, that was my bottom barrel. It was gross. I don’t know how old she was but she was younger. It was near the end, during the pandemic. I was older, she was younger. I don’t know how much younger, but I was 16 I think. She was younger. Like 2 or 3 years younger, I dunno? It was gross of me. I regret doing it but I fear my regret isn’t because of how I hurt someone, took advantage. They were ok with it in the moment, we were both on the same hookup site. But I was gross. No question about it. There was T too but that was a 16-18 age gap. I deleted the accounts. I was just gross.