I definitely need some advice from everyone.

A lot of things are kinda blurry from my childhood but one thing that I remember is that one night, my cousin and I (both are probably less than 8 years old at the time) “experimented”. It wasn’t s** or anything but like… wow this is harder to describe, it was a kiss and whatnot. At the time, I didn’t really think much of it and neither did they. When I look back on it now, like having gotten older and wiser, it’s very embarrassing and gross. I know now we shouldn’t have done so and then of course, I would never operate like that now. People always tell me not to hold what I did when I was younger so tight against myself like to not beat myself up about it but its very hard not to. Like I’ll forget any of it ever happened and then boom, I remember and am sick to my stomach for days thinking about it.