I definitely need some advice from everyone.
A lot of things are kinda blurry from my childhood but one thing that I remember is that one night, my cousin and I (both are probably less than 8 years old at the time) “experimented”. It wasn’t s** or anything but like… wow this is harder to describe, it was a kiss and whatnot. At the time, I didn’t really think much of it and neither did they. When I look back on it now, like having gotten older and wiser, it’s very embarrassing and gross. I know now we shouldn’t have done so and then of course, I would never operate like that now. People always tell me not to hold what I did when I was younger so tight against myself like to not beat myself up about it but its very hard not to. Like I’ll forget any of it ever happened and then boom, I remember and am sick to my stomach for days thinking about it.
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Damn, y’all gone give them some advice??
When youre a child you do some weird and inappropriate sexual shit like that sometimes bc you dont know better. Its not your fault and you dont have to feel guilty over it
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If it was mutual and not abusive or there wasnt a big age different then it probably wouldnt be cocsa (child on child sexual abuse). Still, calling or chatting on some kind of hotline or chatline for csa/cocsa survivors might be helpful, as the operators are trained to help people work through complicated feelings about sexual experiences people have had as kids. Therapy and counseling are also good options
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Really tho, the people in your life are right. You shouldnt feel ashamed or beat yourself up.
Lmfao when i was a kid i jacked off in public bc i didnt know what it was. Kids made stupid mistakes if theyre never taught what is and isnt ok, and sometimes even then