I made a huge mistake. I thought we were going to break up. I thought you didn’t love me anymore. I thought you liked someone else and that’s why you

7 years

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I made a huge mistake. I thought we were going to break up. I thought you didn’t love me anymore. I thought you liked someone else and that’s why you started ignoring me. I sent a few n*** pictures to some random guy online… And you and I are still together. I’m a cheater. I never thought I would be. I tried to make excuses at first, to convince myself it’s just as bad as the fact that you watch p***. I’m done making excuses. I don’t know how to tell you. I know you’ll break up with me but I deserve it. And, if you don’t break up with me, I’ll end it with you because I can’t stand the guilt. Yesterday, you told me I’m all you have. How could I do this to you? I threw everything away for no reason. I don’t deserve to live.

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I used to go online, find girls to have online relations with. I was a teenager. It started from the start of high school, when I was 15. At worst was F, that was my bottom barrel. It was gross. I don’t know how old she was but she was younger. It was near the end, during the pandemic. I was older, she was younger. I don’t know how much younger, but I was 16 I think. She was younger. Like 2 or 3 years younger, I dunno? It was gross of me. I regret doing it but I fear my regret isn’t because of how I hurt someone, took advantage. They were ok with it in the moment, we were both on the same hookup site. But I was gross. No question about it. There was T too but that was a 16-18 age gap. I deleted the accounts. I was just gross.