I’ve engaged in s***** activities with underaged teens online tons of times. Chats, pics, videos, cams. I’m 22. Been doing it since I was like 19, although not exclusively with underaged people.

I f****** hate myself for this, and I hate how much I could further ruin my already s***** life if I was ever somehow caught. I could go to prison for years and become a registered s** offender for the rest of my life. Just for texts and pictures. I’m not a bad person. Everyone I know would tell you I’m a good person. Even when I’m being a creepy p************, I never pressure the people I chat with, and on multiple occasions I’ve warned them to be careful and never let anyone pressure them into doing something they don’t want to do. And I would never actually have s** with someone underaged. Pedos f****** disgust me, especially ones who target prepubescent children. I know that doesn’t excuse what I’ve done, but it gives me at least some solace. I just hate that I have these sick f****** desires within me and that I’m apparently too f****** pathetic to stop.

I feel like I can’t confess this to even my closest and most trusted friends. Not because I think they’d report me, but because they’d see me differently. I need to stop. I need to beat this before I ruin my life. But when I’m in the middle of it, part of me just doesn’t care, or I tell myself that one more time won’t change anything. I should be seeing a therapist in the coming weeks… maybe I’ll bring this up sometime, maybe I won’t.