I was lonely, feeling sad and hopeless, stressfull like always, angry, problems in my life, problems with my family... I don't even have any friend irl.

7 years

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I was lonely, feeling sad and hopeless, stressfull like always, angry, problems in my life, problems with my family… I don’t even have any friend irl. All my friend are from virtual life, I am getting old, I don’t find a girl who I could be in love with, I feel like theres no one in this world for me… Some time ago, thinking s*** about things, I started to think about how lovely animals are(something like that), And lots of other stuff… Days after, I started training an animal of mine, to be capable of handle me f****** his a**, but I ended up going too far, I forced my d*** deep in to it, before its was really capable to handle, it was my first time f****** a animal, and, in the day after that, this animal died from infection in its a**. I am feeling bad as f*** right now. I really feel guilty. I wanted to feel something, Something that has been denied to me for a long time.(Since my English is not so good, I do not know if it will be so understandable.)

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I used to go online, find girls to have online relations with. I was a teenager. It started from the start of high school, when I was 15. At worst was F, that was my bottom barrel. It was gross. I don’t know how old she was but she was younger. It was near the end, during the pandemic. I was older, she was younger. I don’t know how much younger, but I was 16 I think. She was younger. Like 2 or 3 years younger, I dunno? It was gross of me. I regret doing it but I fear my regret isn’t because of how I hurt someone, took advantage. They were ok with it in the moment, we were both on the same hookup site. But I was gross. No question about it. There was T too but that was a 16-18 age gap. I deleted the accounts. I was just gross.