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7 years
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Retarded Reject (Remaster of a rap from when I was 14)

I’m a retard
And a reject
Dat a** caught me off guard
Prepare for b*** s**

Walk into the class wanting a f***** A
History teacher whips out his small f***** D
I’m sure that anyone else in the world would pick anyone over me
I had to excuse myself, oh s*** sir I gotta pee
Frantic through the halls, pants full of s*** and puke
Bully waiting in the halls gave me a nasty spook
He pulled a fist right from his hand, I’m gonna take you to the promise land
6969 and that’s his ugly girlfriends number on his but… err hand
And the muthafucka said

I’m a retard
And a reject
Dat a** caught me off guard
Prepare for b*** s**

Hey, that b**** saved me like Wildstyle
I’m 14. So? Everybody’s gotta watch the Lego Movie once in awhile
I was told from a young age that I have a way with words
People say it’s Asperger’s and that’s the reason why I sound like I’m chewing on turds
She slapped me, “You’re malnourished”
“F****** kill yourself” She encouraged
“Pasty white, do you go outside?”
“Nah b****, I play GTA all day, like swallowing f****** cyanide”
Cause

I’m a retard
And a reject
Dat a** caught me off guard
Prepare for b*** s**

She was the teacher
Very nice creature
3 detentions though just to f****** meet ya
Her face said I’m not wanted, not even by the reaper
Future me pauses time
“What a corny-a** line”
“I was f****** 14”
“Now I write edgy poems that no one cares to have seen”
Yeah f*** that
F*** that
Don’t do rap
Do rap
You have a mental handicap
Please don’t hate

Cause I’m a retard
And a reject
Dat a** caught me off guard
Prepare for b*** s**
Get wrecked

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I need to cry so badly but I cant. There is so much bad in my life this year. The tears just wont come though. I think I’m too damaged to cry. too numb.

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I used to go online, find girls to have online relations with. I was a teenager. It started from the start of high school, when I was 15. At worst was F, that was my bottom barrel. It was gross. I don’t know how old she was but she was younger. It was near the end, during the pandemic. I was older, she was younger. I don’t know how much younger, but I was 16 I think. She was younger. Like 2 or 3 years younger, I dunno? It was gross of me. I regret doing it but I fear my regret isn’t because of how I hurt someone, took advantage. They were ok with it in the moment, we were both on the same hookup site. But I was gross. No question about it. There was T too but that was a 16-18 age gap. I deleted the accounts. I was just gross.

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