I was having sex with the guy I was seeing for the first time and we like,,, ran out of condoms and I was going down on him and I asked like “hey what

7 years

316 Views

I was having s** with the guy I was seeing for the first time and we like,,, ran out of condoms and I was going down on him and I asked like “hey what would make u come?” And he said if I could like u know come inside u. But we didn’t have condoms and I was super on board with that and told him that and he was like no it’ll be great it feels better etc. and eventually I kind of gave in and like, fucked without a condom and he came inside me and afterwards I went to the bathroom and like,,,, I’ve never felt so weird? Like empty? And s*****. I was shaky and wasn’t feeling ok and like forcing myself to breathe normal and it would be ok and we were cuddling and watching tv and I wasn’t able to Carry a good conversation or look him in the face.
The next time we went on a date, I picked him up and had to sit in my car ahead of him and calm myself down cause I was so f****** anxious, and didn’t look at him at all for the whole ride cause I couldn’t and then when we got to the restaurant, I couldn’t look at his face for 10 min and it was another while before I could make eye contact with him.
I’m 19 and he was 22, and I broke it off after that cause I didn’t feel good. And I struggle to like, I don’t enjoy kissing that much and s** feels like nothin to me I just like the intimacy of it. But has anyone else experienced This?? This type of reaction or anything? Is it normal or am I over reacting and idk why I’d be overreacting but that’s what happened. I took like a 20 min shower after he left it was awful.

New Confession

I need to cry so badly but I cant. There is so much bad in my life this year. The tears just wont come though. I think I’m too damaged to cry. too numb.

Related Confessions

I used to go online, find girls to have online relations with. I was a teenager. It started from the start of high school, when I was 15. At worst was F, that was my bottom barrel. It was gross. I don’t know how old she was but she was younger. It was near the end, during the pandemic. I was older, she was younger. I don’t know how much younger, but I was 16 I think. She was younger. Like 2 or 3 years younger, I dunno? It was gross of me. I regret doing it but I fear my regret isn’t because of how I hurt someone, took advantage. They were ok with it in the moment, we were both on the same hookup site. But I was gross. No question about it. There was T too but that was a 16-18 age gap. I deleted the accounts. I was just gross.