I met a guy online, hooked up for like a year, found out he was married. Dumped him. A couple of months later, he contacted me, said he realized he’d been

7 years

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I met a guy online, hooked up for like a year, found out he was married. Dumped him. A couple of months later, he contacted me, said he realized he’d been wrong, missed me, and the friendship we had., that he was a s** addict trying to abstain. Why would he bother contacting me? We talked, I tried to be a friend. His life is a train wreck, other hookups contacted his wife, but he said he never wanted her to ever know about me because he “valued our relationship”. I found out that he was talking to other women trying to hookup – so much for abstaining right? So you know what I did? I texted his wife about us (yes he was dumb enough to tell me her name). I feel bad about it, he probably hates me now, she called me all kinds of names. I figured he would have a better chance with her if it was a clean slate. I miss him though, what an idiot I am!

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I need to cry so badly but I cant. There is so much bad in my life this year. The tears just wont come though. I think I’m too damaged to cry. too numb.

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I used to go online, find girls to have online relations with. I was a teenager. It started from the start of high school, when I was 15. At worst was F, that was my bottom barrel. It was gross. I don’t know how old she was but she was younger. It was near the end, during the pandemic. I was older, she was younger. I don’t know how much younger, but I was 16 I think. She was younger. Like 2 or 3 years younger, I dunno? It was gross of me. I regret doing it but I fear my regret isn’t because of how I hurt someone, took advantage. They were ok with it in the moment, we were both on the same hookup site. But I was gross. No question about it. There was T too but that was a 16-18 age gap. I deleted the accounts. I was just gross.