I am 28 with an 18 month old, not by choice. Notwithstanding how I ended up here I am lucky my son's father took over and lets me stay home with my son. I

7 years

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I am 28 with an 18 month old, not by choice. Notwithstanding how I ended up here I am lucky my son’s father took over and lets me stay home with my son. I had lunch with my ex boss and had to tell him I am not going back to work. I am letting my son’s father impregnate me again. I don’t miss my job or my career. I am well aware that I am lucky that I get to live this life, not many single moms are totally supported like I am. My guilt or shame is how I behaved when I found out I was pregnant, what I said, what I accused him of, not being truthful. Now he basically supports me and is letting me have another baby. I have apologized personally and publically but I can’t get over my guilt and my shame.

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I used to go online, find girls to have online relations with. I was a teenager. It started from the start of high school, when I was 15. At worst was F, that was my bottom barrel. It was gross. I don’t know how old she was but she was younger. It was near the end, during the pandemic. I was older, she was younger. I don’t know how much younger, but I was 16 I think. She was younger. Like 2 or 3 years younger, I dunno? It was gross of me. I regret doing it but I fear my regret isn’t because of how I hurt someone, took advantage. They were ok with it in the moment, we were both on the same hookup site. But I was gross. No question about it. There was T too but that was a 16-18 age gap. I deleted the accounts. I was just gross.