the thought of all the mistakes in my life just keep me up at night. the thought that I'm never enough. the thought that I'll never find a lover. the

7 years

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the thought of all the mistakes in my life just keep me up at night. the thought that I’m never enough. the thought that I’ll never find a lover. the thought I’m just an after thought in people’s minds. the thought that I’m just a selfish b******. I can’t help but think that my life is meaningless but still keep living and doing s*** that I know isn’t even good for me.

New Confession

I don’t think I’m going to survive much longer. I’m a failure, and I always will be. I’ll never be my own independent person and I don’t deserve to be. I should’ve gotten it over with years ago.

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I used to go online, find girls to have online relations with. I was a teenager. It started from the start of high school, when I was 15. At worst was F, that was my bottom barrel. It was gross. I don’t know how old she was but she was younger. It was near the end, during the pandemic. I was older, she was younger. I don’t know how much younger, but I was 16 I think. She was younger. Like 2 or 3 years younger, I dunno? It was gross of me. I regret doing it but I fear my regret isn’t because of how I hurt someone, took advantage. They were ok with it in the moment, we were both on the same hookup site. But I was gross. No question about it. There was T too but that was a 16-18 age gap. I deleted the accounts. I was just gross.