I got drunk at a destination wedding and cheated on my husband back when he was my fiance. I told him as soon as I got home and was able to talk to him

7 years

409 Views

I got drunk at a destination wedding and cheated on my husband back when he was my fiance. I told him as soon as I got home and was able to talk to him face to face. I tried to break up but he refused. I’d even wrote him a check for half of a major purchase we’d made a month before and he threw it in my face and said he didn’t want my f****** money.

He forgave me. We had s** an hour later. Saw a counselor to help us guage if we were moving forward in a healthy manner. We got married 10 months later. I don’t understand why. I didn’t deserve his compassion or forgiveness. I appreciate it, I’m forever grateful for it, but I didn’t deserve it.

Strangely enough were closer now than ever.

But why? Cheaters don’t deserve second chances. I got something I didn’t deserve.

The guilt kills me over a year later. I hurt the person i love the most and now he is one of the things preventing my suicide. I can’t die now. I’d only hurt him again. Every time my mind stays down that path to that perfect solution…I hear him asking me to never hurt him again in that quiet voice hee used when he forgave me.

I don’t get it. I am a f****** mentally ill trash fire, but he loves me.

I don’t deserve him. I barely deserve to breathe. Tonight I will go home and he will call me honey bunch. I don’t deserve to be his honey bunch.

I need to learn to forgive myself.

New Confession

Honda civic eg at Importfest

Related Confessions

I used to go online, find girls to have online relations with. I was a teenager. It started from the start of high school, when I was 15. At worst was F, that was my bottom barrel. It was gross. I don’t know how old she was but she was younger. It was near the end, during the pandemic. I was older, she was younger. I don’t know how much younger, but I was 16 I think. She was younger. Like 2 or 3 years younger, I dunno? It was gross of me. I regret doing it but I fear my regret isn’t because of how I hurt someone, took advantage. They were ok with it in the moment, we were both on the same hookup site. But I was gross. No question about it. There was T too but that was a 16-18 age gap. I deleted the accounts. I was just gross.