I slept with him, I told you that it stopped at a b*******, but I slept with him. Your boyfriend. My ex. The guilt was burning a hole through me and I had to tell you something. I haven’t eaten, or slept unless i drink myself into it. When I saw your face crumble I couldn’t tell you everything, even though there was so much more to tell. I was scared of losing you. I don’t deserve your the forgiveness you’ve already given me. I’m sick. I’m an addict. I’m a reprehensible, disgusting, abhorrent human because I still can’t tell you and I won’t tell you. I’m a cowardly s*** and you were my best friend. My closest friend. I’ll see you tonight, I’ll be the one with the little bag of coke and the smile, wishing you would smack it off me.