I’m bisexual more leaned towards gay. I work at a office in an Indian city along with a group of 15 people. We have a catholic man colleague who is very pale skinned, very well mannered and an absolute gentleman. I’m always attracted to men who’s paler and beautiful. He is older than me, at least 5 years. On a random day I find him attractive. I realized it was just lust towards his more fair-skinned features. I myself is brown skinned. I couldn’t control my feelings for him. He always treated me like a brother but my feelings are always motivated by his superior features. Once, last month, I visited him in his home. His mother was a very beautiful woman and very good host. I noticed they have a beautiful chemistry in their relationship making me feel depressed. She doesn’t look like the mother of a 30 year old. All this things behind me, today I had this awful thought intruded into my memory. I began to think about him and his mother having s**. This was quite shocking because I felt my c*ck erect. I tried to stop thinking but I couldn’t. I rather enjoyed it. I saw him and his mother lying in the bed and she downs her p**** and ask him to lick her p***y. He enjoying it licks it again and again before drilling his c**k into her p**y. I was shell shocked to imagine this. Then, I gained patience and told me all is my imagination. I met him in office today. It was so creepy. I tried to evade the situations where we have to talk. I feel shame to face him. It just make me guilty. Good Lord, I need to move on.