I need advice. So.. i don’t think i’m sexually attracted to men, BUT. . . I love going on camera and making them cum. I figured out why tonight. Its the

7 years

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I need advice. So.. i don’t think i’m s******* attracted to men, BUT. . . I love going on camera and making them c**. I figured out why tonight. Its the one time i can fully feel wanted. When i can make somebody c**, theres no mistaking it. Its somebody who wants me in this world, in that moment…

And it isn’t that nobody loves me! My family and my friends love me dearly. But i have a severe, crippling anxiety disorder. And my anxiety is always telling me what a burden am. How useless i am. That I’m going to die. That nobody around me wants me there. The people in my life love me. . . But my anxiety stops me from feeling that love almost entirely.

So back to the topic of this though… i want to stop. I feel guilty for it, and i feel guilty for stopping. I feel like i brighten guys days when i go on cam. I feel like i can make somebody genuinely happy. It makes me so anxious when i’m doing it that my hands wont stop shaking and i can hear my own heart beat… and I know i’m doing this for the wrong reasons. It feels like the LAST THING i can stoop to to feel wanted, and I don’t want to live like that. I want to treat my anxiety. I want to be able to accept the fact that the people in my life love me…

Is it wrong of me to stop? Is it a mean thing to do? My anxious brain is telling me that it is mean to stop, because i wont be able to help people if i do. Gosh, as though showing my t*** is actually doing any real world helping…

New Confession

Tattoo ideas for me

-Kölner Dom on my right wrist
-Add “wish” below my 11:11 tattoo.
-Add more to my Honda Civic EG wrist tattoo.
-Scorpion beside 11:11 tattoo.
-Flames below my belly / pelvis.
-2 snakes by my pelvis area.
-Green Goblin mask on my knee.
-Lion on my knee.
-Decepticon logo on arm.
-Germany flag on my wrist.
-Plane travel tattoo on finger.

Related Confessions

I used to go online, find girls to have online relations with. I was a teenager. It started from the start of high school, when I was 15. At worst was F, that was my bottom barrel. It was gross. I don’t know how old she was but she was younger. It was near the end, during the pandemic. I was older, she was younger. I don’t know how much younger, but I was 16 I think. She was younger. Like 2 or 3 years younger, I dunno? It was gross of me. I regret doing it but I fear my regret isn’t because of how I hurt someone, took advantage. They were ok with it in the moment, we were both on the same hookup site. But I was gross. No question about it. There was T too but that was a 16-18 age gap. I deleted the accounts. I was just gross.