My gf of 4 yrs and I agree we won't get married until we're more financially stable. In actuality, her lack of drive and complacency is the real reason

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My gf of 4 yrs and I agree we won’t get married until we’re more financially stable. In actuality, her lack of drive and complacency is the real reason I’m more hesitant. I’ve tried to bring up the importance of studies and working harder to earn more but the conversations become another floating reminder in the back of her head. I end up being called a workaholic when we need the income. I’m starting to get tired.

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I used to go online, find girls to have online relations with. I was a teenager. It started from the start of high school, when I was 15. At worst was F, that was my bottom barrel. It was gross. I don’t know how old she was but she was younger. It was near the end, during the pandemic. I was older, she was younger. I don’t know how much younger, but I was 16 I think. She was younger. Like 2 or 3 years younger, I dunno? It was gross of me. I regret doing it but I fear my regret isn’t because of how I hurt someone, took advantage. They were ok with it in the moment, we were both on the same hookup site. But I was gross. No question about it. There was T too but that was a 16-18 age gap. I deleted the accounts. I was just gross.