I was a wife beater and an alcoholic. I’ve been in and out of jail 3 years. After extensive therapy, I have not had a drink in 5 years, I’ve learned a trade where I expect to move out of state after my probation is over in June and perhaps open my own business and start over.
But how can I love and be loved by another woman? Deep down, in my heart, if I even have one after what I did, I still feel immense guilt. Every woman will hte me. I’ll be afraid to touch her, hug, her, stroke her cheek. I hope I can have another good relationship in the future. I saw my ex wife. She is remarried, and happy with a 2 year old daughter and my 8 year old son. He is so happy and as much as I wanted to hug him and throw him up in the air, I left. He doesn’t deserve to even know I exist. I hope he doesn’t hve any memories of me; the last time I saw him was when he was 3. I just hope one day I can achieve happiness and a family like my ex wife did. I may be crazy to even want that.
