I cheated on my soulmate. I love him a lot, trust me I do. But when we started doing long distance, I started getting attracted to this other guy, who I considered my good friend. Things were going really good between my boyfriend and I – we loved each other, we would talk non stop and we would literally be the bestest of the friends – our relationship was perfect. Until, I found out about an affair my mom had behind my dad’s back. It hurt the F*** out of me. I was away, and their marriage depended on me. During this time, that other guy was there to support me and listen to me, and even though my boyfriend did that too, his physical absence was not enough. And then started this whole affair ish thing. At a party, the other guy and I got drunk and we hugged – he’s never hugged anyone before so it was a very big deal for him. The next day, we both were hanging out late and night and we kissed. One thing led to another, and we hooked up a couple times after that. However, we tried to end things each time after that and we both decided to go our different ways – me with my boyfriend, and him away from me. Things were going okay – we hadn’t hooked up in two weeks, we were strictly platonic. I was devoting my entire time to my LD boyfriend and we had a flourishing relationship. However, the tables turned the day the other guy went out for a dinner with this other chick. My jealousy destroyed me from inside. It literally felt like my heart was being ripped apart. I knew in my heart that my boyfriend was the one I wanted to be with, but somehow, just somehow, this jealousy and this negative attachment was driving me crazy. Still, I buckled up and decided that no matter what, we’ll still be friends and I will get over him and be a faithful girlfriend to my boyfriend. Up until now, we had never had s**. That was one line I would never cross – ever. Then, we had s** – twice. We were saying bye to each other as I left for my dorm and he said that he loves me, and a part of me realised I loved him too. I just don’t see a future with him – that’s all. I do love him, but I just see a future with my boyfriend and I simply don’t with this guy. I was considering leaving my boyfriend for this guy, until I realised that my boyfriend is my home and when I told him that I kissed someone (didn’t say the guy’s name), he forgave me and told me that he loves him. Yes, I confessed (not the entire thing though) – but the fact that I had “S**” is f****** killing me from the inside. I wanna be truthful to myself and to him but I can’t. I just can’t. I can’t break my soulmate. I did this stupid thing cause I am very emotional and I might even have borderline bipolar disorder. Hey, I’m not saying that to justify what happened. I just
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I think you are too horny to have a long distance relationship. You need to have someone local to talk, hug, and have sex with.
You are not alone. This has happened and its ok to be conflicted. Just take you time deciding what you want vs be deadset that you just want to be with the bf. Exploration is ok. And will ultimately make it a stronger relationship whoever you go with.
Might as well never let him know if you really intend to stay with him. He will never trust you again if he finds out and probably already doesn’t after your partial confession. There will be a level of bitterness that will never go away. I was cheated on and that person later had the audacity to say “you don’t believe in me.” You’re damn right I don’t. Our relationship is in shambles and I’ve even physically attacked him and yet he still won’t dump me. I just keep hurting him emotionally and it’s progressing to physically too and idgaf he deserves it. He has a choice. Stay with me and endure the pain or gtfo and go already. Your relationship will likely become like this.
Don’t tell him, if you want to remain with him. However, ensure you learn from your mistakes. LD relationships are still relationships, regardless of the distance. Ensure you always cherish your soulmate from now on, why hurt someone you love.