I feel guilty that after a year of trying to communicate with my boyfriend of 14 years about my wants, that I've fallen out of love with him. I love him

8 years

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I feel guilty that after a year of trying to communicate with my boyfriend of 14 years about my wants, that I’ve fallen out of love with him. I love him more like a best friend than I do a lover and no matter how hard I try to spice up our relationship, he fights it. I’ve made a friend who is interested in me, and I’m interested in him too. I hold back because of my lingering feelings for my boyfriend but I want to move forward to experience the things that I’ve always wanted to, but couldn’t because my other half either didn’t like it or I was too afraid to do it alone.

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Imma naked n*gga like Tarzan, shirtless rage like I’m Jesus Christ, woah, that bittch is frisky!

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I used to go online, find girls to have online relations with. I was a teenager. It started from the start of high school, when I was 15. At worst was F, that was my bottom barrel. It was gross. I don’t know how old she was but she was younger. It was near the end, during the pandemic. I was older, she was younger. I don’t know how much younger, but I was 16 I think. She was younger. Like 2 or 3 years younger, I dunno? It was gross of me. I regret doing it but I fear my regret isn’t because of how I hurt someone, took advantage. They were ok with it in the moment, we were both on the same hookup site. But I was gross. No question about it. There was T too but that was a 16-18 age gap. I deleted the accounts. I was just gross.