I’m so f****** disgusting. I remember being about 8 years old and I don’t really know what really led up to me doing this, but I remember going into my mom’s room while she was taking a nap with my little brother. I had a knife in my hand. I never did anything to harm them, I don’t know what the hell was wrong with me. I love them to death, I have no clue what led up to that. My mom knows about that because I confessed it to a friend of hers and she told her. She didn’t get mad, but I think it frightened her. I also remember being around 9 and just learning about s**. I remember touching my little brother’s p****, I think because I was just confused and wanted to know exactly what it was. He was only a year or two old. I also remember being about the same age and when we were left alone, he let me put a Q-tip in his b***. I also have no clue why the f*** I thought that was okay. I just asked him if it hurt, I think. He said no. That’s all I remember. I also remember having tried to have s** with a female friend of mine, but she was wanting to as well, I didn’t force her too. I think she’s actually straight now, I don’t know though because we don’t really keep in touch anymore. I was only maybe 7 or 8 then. I’m technically a child-molester then, right? Because I touched my little brother. While he technically consented, and we were both minors, he was still a F****** TODDLER. I’m so disgusting. I hate myself. I wish I could burn that from my memory. I asked him today if he remembers that, he said no. I didn’t confess to it, I doubt I ever will. I just asked if he remembers anyone ever touching him when he was younger. Either way, I feel so gross and I want to cry but I can’t.