I realized that I’m starting to have negative feelings towards one of my friend (let’s called her T), she’s a good friend and recently became my housemate.
I’m aware that she did nothing wrong.
I believe that I might be the problem all along and I feel suffocated.
T got a serious skin decease (which means skin shedding everywhere like dust) and suffered from Egg & Chicken Syndrome and seafood allergy, while the other friend, G can’t cook but at least can help to some degree. So basically, both the housemate are kind of incapable to do much chores. Which ended up with me doing most of the chores with the fact that I’m working too.
I felt very tired, and also felt like a babysitter instead of friends, slowly I’ve started to develop this feeling of despise towards T unintentionally.
I find that I felt mostly irritation when every single action T did, like at times the thought of T is a useless p************ just kept coming to my mind.
I felt like I don’t want to go back to the place, nor staying at the space with T.
The more I try to think about the good things about T or it is not T’s will to have such a fragile body, the more guilt crushed on me.
I wanted to support T but I’m too tired, even with the fact that G is comforting me.
I’m sorry T, but I just can’t take it anymore.