8 years
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i have fallen, and am still falling for my best friends crush.

i met him on a camp. i didn’t know anybody and i was too shy to talk to anyone that i hadn’t met before. i pulled her up with me to buy two soft drinks, but she brought me up, introduced us and tried to walk away.
i found him somewhat attractive but pushed that away because i wouldn’t be seeing him at all after this camp (it was for a church youth group that they do every year, i wasn’t into religion nor did i really believe God existed.).

a month passes, i’m a part of this church, i attend the youth group, i fully believe in God and i am definitely interested in this guy, he is definitely attractive to me and i don’t know what to do.
another month passes and my best friend (who introduced us) tells me she likes him and i’m stuck.
its been five months, he’s in another country right now, my best friend is stuck really deep in her feelings for him, my feelings probably aren’t as strong but they’re still there and i can’t tell her, i can’t tell my other best friend, i can’t tell anyone because it will make me feel like the bad guy when i’m pretty sure that my feelings were there for him a little while before him.
she’s told me that they’ve been out to lunch a couple of times, she went to his house a few times (nothing s*****, they’ve both declared abstinence, just to work on some things for the church) and it hurts sometimes hearing that.
they listen to music together and i know the more i dwell on this the more i hurt myself.
i just want someone new to come into my life and replace him so that i don’t hurt myself anymore than i already have.

(kw: cadenceprue)

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