I think I might have caught white fever. I'm a Chinese female living in an Asian country. I've been brought up from young to be meek and modest, because

8 years

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I think I might have caught white fever.

I’m a Chinese female living in an Asian country. I’ve been brought up from young to be meek and modest, because that’s what all guys like. It’s not that I fake my personality, but recently I just feel that I was intentionally… artificially created, it’s just not natural. How I can even feel blood rushing up my neck and cheeks just from casually chatting with a guy whom I have some attraction towards… how I dress up to suit their tastes, how I speak to them naturally in a soft tone…

However when I’m with white men, I just… feel like my personality can change a little bit. I don’t have to be so careful with my words, although I’m not spewing vulgarities in speech, at least I can feel less restricted. They’re more gentlemanly and makes me feel respected as a female even without having me to forcefully display my feminine traits. Not to mention how ‘as long as they’re slim, 4 out of 5 times their face is super hot’. I find myself gradually more easily smitten by white men, to the extend that I intentionally blow up my femininity powers a notch just to appeal to them even more. It’s contradicting, but it is ingrained in me that all men like feminine women. The white men are no exception fortunately, they treat you even more sweetly and kindly than anyone else could when you bring up your female powers. Bed matters is also much more enjoyable with white men.

My parents absolutely do not permit me to enter a marriage relationship with any race other than Chinese (no offense to anybody but it’s kind of a traditional thing here), hence I’m really torn. I don’t know if this ‘white fever’ is an illusion that I brought upon myself.

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