I often get infatuated with a lot of people. About a year ago, I developed a huge crush on this guy who’s been in my class since we were kids but I never felt attracted to him. I knew I will get over him as well, like I have done before so I didn’t fuss over it much. Just casually fantasised about him. One day, our class had gone out for a picnic and all the while he was staring at me and was always eager to talk to me. I was still in my infatuation phase. I felt so queasy in my stomach that I sort of flirted back. I so regret it now. If only I could just have stayed away from him. Gradually, we started talking more, trying to meet up whenever we can. I sort of felt good that a crush requited my feelings but I also felt guilty for leading him on. Before I knew, I was over him and my infatuation came to an end. I just viewed him like a normal friend now. This makes me sound like a monster who plays with feelings and maybe I am. I had several reasons of not being in love with him (don’t know if “love” even happens). I am heteroamorous bisexual but I am mostly attracted to girls. Even if I ever really “loved” him it wouldn’t have been possible, because we are of two different religions and being with someone of another religion is kinda a taboo in my society. This sounds harsh but he isn’t really my “type”. As days pass by, I get less and less attracted to him and I avoid him as much as I can. In my opinion, people like the feeling of being loved, no one ever really loves anyone. However
I also didn’t pull myself back because he’s a famous guy in school and I thought being liked by him would make me popular too. Moreover he had gone through a bad break up in his last relationship so I wanted to be there for him as a friend but he took it for something else. But I sort of led him on and now he has confessed to me that he really loves me, don’t know how much of it is true. I regret so much about my actions and feel sorry for him. I have decided to confess it all to him and I hope he finds someone who truly likes him.
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To be honest, you do sound like a horrible person. But the fact that you realised and owned up to it? Hats off. Just don’t break someone’s heart again. And love does exist.
It’s her opinion. Respect it. Maybe she hasn’t experienced much love yet. Everyone’s got a reason for their opinion.
It sounds like you are a bit afraid of commitment too.
I actually feel sorry for the guy. Please don’t go having crushes around like this because everyone has feelings just like you. How many people’s feelings can you hurt like this? And sweetheart, there’s love alright.
I do agree with you on the fact that there is actually no such thing as “love”. It isn’t a random feeling that pops out of nowhere but when with the right person, at the right time, if you feel loved then it’s really love. You just have got to make it happen. Just wanted to clear out the concept of love for you.
So how many boys or girls are you gonna play with? Till your infatuation phase ends? Not everyone is a toy honey.