First of all, english is not my mother tongue.
So, its been 6 years since we broke up, i used to be a player, i dump him, he’s perfect and gentle, he loves me very much, i was still kid back then, i regret for dumping him.
But after that, i changed but i didn’t get back to him, im scared to talk to him cause i feel bad for dumping him.
I tried to moved on, but i keep having these dream about him wanting me back although i keep pushing him away, i’m scared that i may hurt him again, i don’t want to see him cry for me again.
I don’t dream much, but whenever i dream, i will see him, with different kinda story & environment. (Maybe kinda like different/parallel world, haha, kinda cool actually, it’s like we are meant to be together no matter in which world, no matter in what era, we are meant to meet and fall in love).
I will dream of him like once or twice in a week, its been like this for 5 years.
What should i do, im thinking of texting him again to ask him if he already forgive me and is he happy now, to give a final closure.
Cause i done research says, maybe one of the reason is beacause we didn’t have a closure. Maybe deep in my heart, i keep blaming myself for hurting him, that’s why i want to hear him to forgive me.
Hey D, if you reading this, im sorry… i remember when we first meet 9 years ago when i enter the classroom as a new transfer student, i blushed when you introduced yourself to me. You treasured me so well. You loved me so much, yet i still hurt you, im sorry.
If, only if, i can turn back time, i won’t ever let you go again. I won’t make you cry. I won’t break your heart. I’m sorry.
But then again, its been 6 years, i wonder how many more years i can keep loving you like this…
I want to stop loving you, it hurts, and i miss you so damn much, but i can’t…
I wish someone could save me…

• Share on Facebook