I consistently think about killing myself. I feel guilty for the things I’ve done and the person I’ve betrayed by keeping this secret. I fantasize about how I would kill myself if my secret got out. Sometimes I imagine that she would forgive and save me. Usually I imagine the more likely scenario that she would hate me and not care if I die. I don’t even know where I might see myself down the road. I honestly don’t think I’m strong enough to make it to 30. Heck, I’m not sure I’ll see 25. I’m sorry Elizabeth.