I think I might actually be fucked up in the head. Like dangerously fucked up. Just so you know before you read this I’m not saying it to seem edgy or cool or anything. I’m actually horrified of myself for thinking like this.

I was playing a called Heavy Rain. In the game there’s a scene where you play as a girl (Maybe in her 20s or something I’m not sure). She’s having a nightmare about two guy breaking into her house. You fight them for a bit before on of them slits her throat. The fighting meant nothing to me and it was just typical video game stuff. I wasn’t expecting the death though and it cane as a big surprise. When it happened though it turned me on a lot and it made me sick when it did. I’m scared of myself and it scares ne even more when I think about how sometimes I just randomly have a really strong urge to kill someone. Anyone.

I’m seriously horrified of myself and I don’t know who to talk to about this but I needed to tell someone so I came on here. I’m going to go puke now

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