I caused a crash. I know it was my fault but he was blamed because he was merging into my lane but i sped past him as he was merging. I dont know what i was thinking at that time but i totalled my car and another car was involed. I just wanted it to go away but family convinced me to get a lawyer and now i am sueing him for injuries and a third vehicle involved is sueing the both of us. I should have never sued him but now i feel like i am in way over my head and need to keep the lie up or i will be charged with purgery and have to pay all the medical bills and lawyer fees for everyone out of pocket. I want to just go through with it and if i get money just anonymously give it to the other guy but i dont know if that is a proper ammends or just a cop out. Or if they decide it is my fault then so be it and i will take my punishment. I am newly married and just me first child and got sober and trying to better my life and then i go and pull this s***. I feel so guilty and am afriad every day filled with so much anxiety it is affecting my work. I am too much of a chicken s*** to tell my wife and lawyer and everyone involved that it was my fault. I dont want money, i just want it to be over.