Im sorry to everyone that iv ever hurt. I thought I was a nice person but now I know I really was just being a jerk. I never meant to be this way though. I just thought that was how you treat your friends and the ones well…. you love. Even if I don’t know how love feels yet I still tried to love them but of course I fucked up. My family’s fucked up and they made me fucked up. I come from a whole line of fucked up people… abusive and insane… from BOTH sides… and you have every right to be angry at me… you have every right to be sad. you don’t have to accept my apology. I’m not asking you to. And you all most likely wont see this…. and if you do you wont know its me… iv just been contaminated and now i’m no longer edible. and evry time yo tried to bite i just made you all sick. you threw me into the flames because garbage cans where to good for me. and I deserved it. every minute of agony a burning pain. and I shouldn’t have fought it before. i just didn’t know i deserved it. I hurt you all in more ways than i could. iv made so many g******* friends but 90% of them leave me or I hurt them. and I cant stand to know iv hurt you so badly. That’s why I tried to fix it. that’s why I wouldn’t leave you alone until I fixed use or I gave up and I gave up so many times. but its so hard to let go. I don’t know why but I thought I always needed to fix everything. but I cant. and I thought I was social but i’m not. But I cant just leave like that and I cant burn. I just feel like I am. But please this inst my f****** fault… I know I can’t change my genetics but I can try to change my attitude. I just don’t want to and i’m not strong enough to yet. So please just leave the rest of my embers to burn into ash. Just leave me to cry until I die from dehydration. something’s wrong with me and i don’t now what. But I know that I wasn’t meant to be in this world. I might not have meant to be here but I might be here for a reason. I just cant see it yet. And maybe I never will. Maybe I was never meant to find out why. And you know what? Maybe that’s for the best. I just want to sleep for weeks on end.
so please don’t wake me up. Let me rest in my tears please. I’ll come out for food later.
