Well, it started 3 years ago when I cheated on the girl who loved me. Although I was just dating her for physical pleasure, I cheated on her and lied to her as well afterwards. No wonder we broke up soon afterwards. Since that day, I never ever experienced true satisfaction. First I messed up relation with my roommate when we got intimate and I developed feelings for her. Totally mess it was. We could not talk and could not live together still we had to be there together. Later found a nice girl, had a relationship for one year when she brokeup with me. Soon after found another girl online who was already engaged. Despite that we got intimate. Once she realised her mistake, she broke all the communication. For one year I was waiting for her to return to me and chat atleaset. Now I realized that engaged girl was actually married and is 10 years older than what she said. Found a true friend again but she can’t get over her Ex. I am just depressed at this pity. Meanwhile I graduated. Found a job which is way below my skills and caliber. And obviously less paid. Could not find any other job and so still stuck in this job, where they kinda exploit me. All these happened in 3 years in foreign country where I live far from my family. Still believe I am a bad person, but has no enough guts to own my mistake and ask forgiveness to the g****** whom I cheated.