Someone treated me really really wrong and I do not know where to go from here. I already have known how bad life is and can be, the worst sort of things that can happen in the world. This happening to me feels like, a complete disregard of everything that I have always dreamed, desired, prayed, and suffered for. I have been crying for two days. There is a sort of mystery to the pain that I’ve suffered that I begin to doubt the goodness of God. Right now I am without faith and am feeling unfufilled in the way that comes from giving someone the biggest, special-est piece of you, trying, and realizing that they never appreciated you for who you were when I am completely innocent. Even if things change drastically in the future and suddenly they realize and are able to communicate to me my true worth I think that we are both so deadened by this experience that I do not know how I will go on. Them not knowing how much I care for them is draining me of all my energy and there is a knife twisting in my heart. That they might suspect how much I care for them and they still do not care makes me want to shoot myself up my own v*****. I ask the world how many people I have hurt in my life. I ask the world how often I try to do the right thing. The answer is that I have genuinely been a good person because I have seen the worst from an early age. I ask the world why I cannot be loved in the slightest way by the one person I have ever really really cared about being loved by. I ask the world if it is too much to ask for, for just one message so I do not feel like the world wants to kill me through cruel and unusual heartbreak. I ask if I can please be shown that they are going to remember me for more and that they won’t forget me. I think about them with another woman and my heart is split into pieces. Please give me the strength to go on with my life and for them to be a part of my life. Please give me the strength to not feel disappointment, and their shame, regret, fear, and anger when I look him in the face. Please allow me to feel human after being dragged through fields of broken glass in hell. Please allow me to stop asking myself if they really felt nothing at all for me.
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Hi sweetheart, I wish I could just wrap my arms around you and give you a long hug. Everyone wants to feel loved and I hope one day soon you can feel that, too. ❤
May God bless you. I’ll keep you in my prayers. Please never doubt God. He does some amazing things and miracles happen every day.
FUCKING TELL THEM! I wish to fuck I had heard this in early 05 instead of “he’s big” and “I love this man to pieces….”. I wish I heard that every day after until 2010 when I knew I would never.
I like to say “There’s no hope, I can’t get past that, why did you do this? How could you? What were you thinking?” BUT the truth is, there is a way. That’s honesty. And I don’t mean in just what she says, truth, but her. She might be innocent, but she never stood up and said anything to contradict it having the opportunity so to me, that’s guilt. Eventually it became truth, and thats the fault of people she surrounds herself. If she hit me with this, I would want to hug her
I like to assume she cares a bit, actually I believe that she is definitely happy especially after this long and has been happy for a long time, and I maybe don’t matter so much. I believe that. I would be a fool to think otherwise. I’d like to believe, but then I’d be a fool
Sending virtual warm hugs to your way
You need to get on without them unfortunately. I commented a few posts up and I’ve been in your shoes too. Take up something artistic or that makes you meditate, a hobby and think honestly. You need to accept that there is no hope here. You absolutely need to get that in your head, even if it’s not that bad. Weird but interesting things go through your mind when you’re in a state like that, meditation, but time flies and it’s relaxing. I’d be painting a model and something on the tv at 1:00 am, one word in the background “tomato” would send me into a 2 hr trail of thought that would eventually have me contemplating the meaning of life or what Jessie James would do in this situation. Get another job or a new one (if you’re not in a career you’re stuck in) and do something different. Or just go out and do something different that will keep your mind away from it and this person.
Sadly in my case, I could just write her an email. The problem is I absolutely can’t take the rejection from her that way and there are other issues. I feel like if I write her, I’m writing a great many people I don’t want to be writing. It would set me back many years. That’s the sad part she has no way of contacting me, I have a single way, an old email address that I’m not even sure is hers still, and I am literally afraid to use it.
Forget him, UNLESS it’s me. Then you should drop by the old place, the 3 people who know you will be happy to see you, and you can hit me with this
I have simply told them that I care a lot for them and they say that they are happy now, and then a simple message “don’t.” I try to be strong but I do not think I can survive if they are not in my life despite all they have done, not done, etc… I am so sorry I am weak like this. I wish I could be made of ice now, but the truth is that being loved by them would mean so much to me.