I have 5 children by 5 different men. The first 2 are white and the last 3 are black. They are all girls but my 3 mixed girls look older than my white girls. My white girls are flat chested and no butts but my mixed girls look older than I do. I’m extra hard on my mixed girls because they’ve already started attracting grown men. I caught a man looking at one of my daughter’s the other day. When we got home I took off my shoe and started beating her with it. All of my daughters were very upset with me saying that it’s not her fault that men look at her. I grounded everyone. I don’t know why but sometimes I feel ashamed that I had children by black men. I think my life would be better had I just had my first two. Now I can’t even get a decent date and no man is seriously interested in me. I feel that men are more attracted to my mixed daughters. I resent them for that. I know that no white man would want me after having mixed children. I am no longer interested in black men because they did not treat me right. I know I am wrong for not liking my mixed daughters but it’s the truth. I have to figure out a way to love them like I love my white daughters.