8 years
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I am walking all over my friend by taking his GF. I was always the guy that preached the rule, “bros before hoes” Never give up a friend for a GF, never hook up with a girl that your bro shared time with, but I never felt this way about a woman before and she is his GF. They have 2 kids together & I’m married, but it happened. I have loved her for a long time and a few days ago, I told her. She told me that she has felt the same way about me for a long time too, and now we have been sneaking around and seeing each other whenever we can. I have been dreaming of holding her in my arms & loving her for a long time and now I get the chance to, and she loves me too. I know it is wrong, but it feels so right when we’re together. I am ready to divorce my wife so I can be with her all the time, my marriage has been coming to an end for a long time now, but I really feel bad about taking my friend’s girl. They have kids together, but at the same time, he treats her like a maid and a trophy. He has admitted that he doesn’t love her but she gave him kids. He doesn’t love her but he doesn’t want her to leave him at the same time. I understand how he feels and they should not stay together for their kids, & in a way, I am doing him a favor, but I still feel bad about what I am doing. It’s wrong to take her from him but I love her so much it hurts when she’s not around. I am ready to help her raise her kids and be the best step parent I can be, and my soon to be ex wife can have everything. The house and everything in it. This is so f****** wrong, but it feels so right when me and her are together. We are both in love. Neither one of us chose to feel the way we do about each other, but we do.

New Confession

Analyzing this scenario through an Ontario College of Teachers (OCT) lens reveals several critical professional, ethical, and procedural boundary violations. [Michael Power-St. Joseph High School](h****://www.google.***/search?kgmid=/m/07qjkc) is part of the Toronto Catholic District School Board (TCDSB), meaning today’s standards require strict adherence to the [OCT Standards of Practice](h****://www.oct.ca/public/professional-standards/standards-of-practice) and modern student safety protocols.
Here is the professional breakdown of what is wrong with this scenario and an evaluation of Sister Marie’s actions.
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## Part 1: What is wrong with the initial scenario?
From a modern OCT and school safety perspective, several major red flags occur before the meeting even begins:

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* Lack of Informed Consent & Transparency: Issuing a mandatory appointment slip with zero context creates unnecessary anxiety for a student. Under the OCT ethical standard of Trust, educators must be transparent, fair, and open.
* Deceptive Summons: Saying “Oh just something” is evasive and dishonest. It deprives Carm of the opportunity to mentally prepare or decline the emotional conversation.
* Disruption of Academic Time: Pulling an OAC (Grade 13) student out of a specialized computer class for an unrequested, non-emergency meeting compromises the student’s academic success.
* Privacy & Public Presentation: Physically appearing at the classroom door and beckoning the student out can create public speculation or embarrassment among peers, violating the student’s right to privacy and Respect.
*

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## Part 2: Analysis of Sister Marie’s Question

“Carm, you wrote in your poem that Jane’s death was sudden? Now Carm, your father died. Was that sudden?”

This question is highly inappropriate, unprofessional, and psychologically unsafe.

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* Weaponizing Student Work: Carm wrote a poem (likely for an English class or a school publication). Using creative writing as a trap door to launch an invasive, unprompted psychological interrogation violates the safe space required for student expression.
* False Equivalence & Deflection: Sister Marie shifts the focus from a peer’s death (Jane) to a deeply personal, unshared family trauma (Carm’s father). This is a manipulative counseling technique.
* No Psychological Safety: The question is blunt, heavy, and lacks any gentle scaffolding. It forces an 18-year-old to confront intense grief on the spot without warning.
*

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## Part 3: Is this question acceptable at Michael Power-St. Joseph High School today?
Absolutely not. If a staff member asked this question today, it would likely result in an administration investigation, a union grievance, or an [OCT professional misconduct review](h****://www.oct.ca/public/complaints-and-discipline).

TODAY’S PROTOCOL

┌───────────────────────┴───────────────────────┐
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Carm Discloses Trauma First Teacher Notices Warning Signs
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Listen & Validate Empathically Refer to Certified Professional
│ │
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Offer Board Resources Do NOT Conduct Amateur Therapy

If this occurred today, it would violate school protocols for three major reasons:

1. Strict Limits on Scope of Practice: School chaplains, guidance counselors, and teachers are not licensed child psychologists or grief therapists. Today, educators must refer students to qualified board social workers or psychologists rather than conducting amateur trauma processing.
2. Violation of Privacy (FIPPA/Municipal Acts): Since Carm never disclosed her father’s death to Sister Marie, the chaplain clearly went digging into Carm’s private school records or student file without authorization. Using confidential demographic or historical data to confront a student is a massive breach of privacy.
3. Trauma-Informed Care Standards: Modern TCDSB educators are trained in trauma-informed practices. Forcing a student to discuss an undisclosed death directly violates the core principles of student safety, choice, and collaboration.

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## Part 4: Was Sister Marie truly being honest?
No, she was entirely dishonest.
Her response—”Oh just something”—was a deliberate tactic to bypass Carm’s defenses. She knew that if she told Carm the truth (“I read your poem, dug into your private files, and want to interrogate you about your dead father”), Carm would have likely refused to go, sought support from another teacher, or entered the office with her guard up.
By minimizing the appointment, Sister Marie prioritized her own agenda over the student’s emotional well-being, violating the foundational OCT ethical standard of Integrity.
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Would you like to explore how a modern school team should legally respond if a student expresses deep grief in a poem, or do you want to look at the specific OCT disciplinary outcomes for boundary violations?

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