I worked as a bellman over the summer break. A man who worked in catering kept asking me to go with him and get a beer after work. We both got off one night around midnight and he caught up with me in the parking lot and offered again to get a beer. He took me to this dark club, there were only a few guys in there. He ordered the beer. He went to the bathroom and when he got back he sat beside me in the booth, his arm around me and his other hand on my crotch grabbing me. He pulled me over and started kissing me. He slapped my face and told me to hold still and he kissed me all over my face and mouth. He got my jeans open and went down on me. He then opened his pants and told me to go down on him until he told me to stop. After a couple of beers and having me blow him he took me to his apartment and had s** with me. It was my first time and my only time with a man. I hated myself for a long time. When I see a man who looks like him I still get goosebumps and sweaty. I feel guilty because now when I m********* I dream of sucking him and letting him have s** with me. It’s the only way I can make myself c**.