i feel like im not good enough and that i should be able to do much more even though everyone says that im great at lots of things. dose that make me selfish? i think it dose. none of my family or freinds say that im bad at anything yet i still think i s*** at everything in life. i s*** at life despite everyone saying im amazing. somtimes i think that my mind just never wants me to be happy. lately iv gotten better and stoped fealing like this as much but just when it gets better theres of course some sort of drama that drags me back down. thats just life isnt it? f****** missrable? lets you gain hope only to rip it from you. just when i got some new cool freinds some others leave. even the new ones. i hate rumors. they just drive people apart. why dose everyone have to break anything positive? not only break it but shatter it and ground it into powder. it stupid. lifes stupid. why cant i just stay happy? I HAVE NO REASON TO BE SAD SO WHY CANT I STAY HAPPY?! WHY AM I LIKE THIS?! I JUST WANT TO BE HAPPY FOR MORE THAN ONE DAY IN A YEAR!!! is that so just to much to ask for or something? i used to be so happy and now im just… im just a pile of emotionless trash. i want to just be proud of myself for once. im just so selfish. why? now i know that life is just unfair and cruel. i cant wait to die some day. then i wont have to worry anymore. im not going to kill myself so dont worry about that. my freinds and family are still around so i wont. if their gone i might. or if theres just nothing else for me. i used to love life so much……………. im going to still try to atleast pretend to be happy. my birthdays soon and my dads takeing m camping so maybe that’ll lift my spirits a bit? i dont know. even that maks me feek sekfish. dose anyone have ny ideas what this is or how to fix it? im not sure if this is depression or just teenage angst… i dont know anymore. please.