Really wish I had just let her borrow my car or something because we keep triggering each other in the car and it’s such a confined space and while she may be used to disassociating and coming down after being triggered, I NEED TO BE ALONE AND I CANT RIGHT NOW BECAUSE WE’RE AN HOUR AWAY FROM HOME AND IM SHAKING AND ITS NOT HER FAULT BUT I NEED TO BE ALONE I NEED TO BE ALONE I NEED SPACE I N

It’s my fault it’s all my fault it’s my fault because this is my mental problems it’s my fault it’s my fault its NOT HER I don’t WANT it to be her, she’s been through too f****** much for it to be her but we keep ticking each other’s nerves, and even though we’re smart and kind enough to realize something is wrong and not blame one another, IM still freaking out and not able to come down because I cant escape into a space like I need to right now and I don’t want to say anything because I DO NOT want her to feel bad or like she’s imposing at ALL cause it’s not her ITS NOT HER IT CANT BE, it’s my problem it’s my problem *I* have to deal with it, *I* NEED to fix it and I WANT to fix it. I’m TRYING to fix it but it’s not working I’m not working my methods aren’t working I’m failing I’m scared I don’t want her to FEEL IT CAUSE SHE DOES SHE FEELS AS KEENLY AS I CAN AND I DONT WANT HER TO FEEL BAD I CANT SAY SORRY ENOUGH AND NOW ITS ANNOYING HER AND IM *SORRY* I JUST WANT US ALL TO BE OKAY IM TRYING, I *DO* WANT HER HERE, I *WANT* THIS TO WORK WHY CANT I MAKE IT WORK FASTER IM TRYING