Im a lesbian, I’m 23 I’ve been gay practically forever I’ve never had a legit BF . So , I have girlfriend and she’s amazing , I’ve known her since I was 6 , she spoils me rotten , she’s beautiful , I’m am living the LIFE I travel and make really good money with her she loves the f****** f*** out of me ,… and it’s overwhelming , I’m a Sagittarius she’s a Leo and if you know anything about horoscopes , are compatibility is crazzzzzzy but I don’t know how to love … I’m incredibly mean to her and I have no idea why she’s so nice she just lets me have my way, not like cheating or anything ; but if I ask her for something she will break her neck to get it , she watches me sleep , she doesn’t leave my side day in and out she is almost smothering me but she is so nice , I don’t like to have s** with her anymore , I’d rather just m********* . I don’t like holding her hand or cuddling with her , I’m not affectionate at all. And I feel terrible for it , I look at other people’s relationships and wish that I felt that way about her ; but I just don’t . I love her but I’m not sure if I like her but she’s so beautiful and perfect , I have no life outside of her , she came along and took over my life . She doesn’t let me lift a finger to do anything , she treats me like royalty . She tells me she wants to spend her whole life with me often. She never gets tired of me she tells me but we spend every waking minute together ,I know I’m beautiful and almost as perfect as she is but how is it possible that she could love someone like me this much? I’m so mean . I’m oh so mean ….she washes my clothes, always wants to have s** with me , begs me to give her attention , I live with her and just can’t seem to bring myself to accept her , am I ashamed or am I just feeling controlled and boxed in by her? she does things like watches my expressions if I’m in my phone or ask a lot of questions of whom I’m talking to or she tries to get in my head a lot , wants to know my every desire and every move at every second but truth is I’m antisocial and mean as hell and I just feel so bad . I want to love her so bad .whats wrong with me???