I married a woman whose mother was/is a hoarder like you see on TV. After a few years together my wife became a hoarder, too, to the point where in our bedroom there was room for my body in the bed, and everything else was a nightmare of sheer crap, clothes, shoes, coupons, take-out menus, jewe;ry and piles of stinky clothes. And yet I feel so guilty for leaving her, when I would walk in our front door so many times and just want to turn around and leave because of the mess, the mess really really disturbed me, though I tried to ignore it. I hired a cleaning person and they wouldn’t even touch the bedroom, the woman just opened the door and closed it again, saying, “That room by itself would take me three days.”
I tell people “You would have left, too,” but I still feel terrible, I absolutely broke her heart when I left her.
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It’s okay. I would have done the same thing. It’s okay to want to see something other than mess when you come home
i understand your guilt, and that really shows that you are a compassionate person. however, you sometimes need to see your needs over the desires of others. i think that you made the right choice, then again, marriage is to be throughout the good times and the bad times (even seasons of hoarding!) but that is not up to me, not up to anybody else. all we can do is give suggestions and advice. i’ll be praying that you get clarity. try talking to her about it. state it as your concerns for her and that you can’t bare to see her end up like her mother. things may be stressful and emotional, but it’ll work out in the end, i promise you. lots of love and i wish you the best.