It’s not the sort of guilt you’d think. I feel guilty for believing that I might have depression. It’s hard, you know? I think I might have it, but everytime k think about it, all I feel is guilt.
So many people have it so much worse than I do, and I’m over here whining about my own life while they’re suffering much worse.
But also, I get mad. My friend claims to have depression, but she has the perfect life. It makes me so mad that I have these feelings, and she’s attention seeking. Yes, she cuts herself, but whenever she does, she posts it on Snapchat, or does it infront of people. Never on her own.
I know, I’m such a terrible friend, but it fucking hurts. It’s so hard to watch her do that. I think that she might just be a attention seeking sociopath. There was even one point where she claimed to be trying the “Blue whale” game, but isn’t one of the rules of that game to not tell others? And even with that in the end the main goal is to commit suicide.
I know I’m sat her babbling, but also, if anyone was to ever find out about my feelings, I don’t think that I could handle it. I don’t want attention, and I don’t want people to pity me.
I’m here because I’m only human, and if I don’t write it down I’ll have to keep it bottled up, and I just can’t handle it or I’ll break down into a frenzy like all the others times.
Anyway, it’s 2:11, so, g’night.
