I made a blind friend in my first year university. We had a tutorial together and were given an assignment where we had to find partners and research aspects of a certain topic. Because everyone else had already paired up, I introduced myself to this person and because I didn’t know too much about blind people, decided that I would put in extra effort to make our group project a success. I took extra care to plan at least two face-to-face meetings to practice our presentation and discuss our ideas while the other groups took the assignment way less seriously. I really admired my friend for overwhelming all her troubles to be studying such a challenging subject at our reputable university. It sounds condescending, I know, but it came from a place of genuine admiration and a desire to befriend someone different – anyway, I wanted both of us to do well. Because of our extra efforts, we ended up really impressing our tutor and ever since we became good friends. I am not a clingy person by nature and I need a lot of personal space, but I was so interested in learning about my friend’s world that I made time to spend with her and to tell her about my own culture. I told her about my home country (a place she found to be very exciting and exotic) and told her she was free to visit any time. When her parents said she could visit my family during the summer, I was honored that they would trust me with their daughter, and excited to show her my world and culture. Unfortunately, aspects of my friend’s personality did not sit well with me. Even though I took great care never to be insensitive, I found her to be easily upset and frequently complaining about everything from the weather to mosquitoes. She was also very very conservative and Christian, and whenever I would tell her about my culture she would treat it as if it were some fun, comic book fantasy, while her faith remained serious, beautiful and one, sole truth, and if I were to criticise it in anyway I was a bad person. She never specifically said this but her intention was always clear in her sickly sweet, high-pitched voice. She would say things about some of my family member’s accents, asking if they were speaking English when they clearly were and never really apologising. She would let her fear and ignorance sometimes get the best of her, such as when we missed the train because she wouldn’t trust my timing, or when she declined a dish lovingly made to meet her dietary needs, unaware of the offence she may have caused. Her backwards conservatism made her say things like, “Why don’t all muslim women wear the veil? Isn’t that against their religion – how can they live with themselves?” Or she would say things like, “R*** is a controversial topic. I don’t understand how those girls get themselves in those situations. That would never happen to me.” She also is firmly against alcohol and everytime I or a family member have the occasional drink I feel her silent judgment. She would thank me and my family for all we did, and indeed she truly loved my country, and gushed about it to her parents. She constantly tells me, now that we are back at uni, how much she misses my country and loves my family for our kindness. Her whole family is dying for me to come visit them in her home country, because they are so grateful for my invitation. Even though her country is a wonderful place, I would not want to visit because I honestly don’t know if I can spend that much time with her continuously ever again. I almost lost my mind in frustration and I was never able to express it for fear of hurting her delicate feelings. So instead I lied (with the help of my parents) and said I couldn’t go to her country due to bad finances. I feel bad that I resent and dislike her so much, as I feel that it makes me a terrible person. But I know for a fact that I don’t dislike her because she is blind, but rather her personality. A blind person who was straightforward, with a sense of humour and a sense of self-awareness would definitely count amongst my closest friends. So I try to tell myself that I’m not a hateful bigot and she’s just a s*** person. I’ve never told her any of this, and she’s still very fond of me and hoping I can come visit the following year.