I’m going to kill myself tonight, I live on the third floor…
there is nothing left for me anymore. I’ve been depressed for 2 years now and 4 months ago I had a mental breakdown and waved a knife at my mum, whom I now haven’t spoken to since and she’s just completely abandoned me. I get angry a lot and I feel nothing practically all the time, nothing at all and it’s terrifying. my depression means I have panic attacks all the time. Everything either feels completely meaningless or (most commonly) like a dream. I’ve just stopped feeling…on friday I tried to kiss my friend – we’d had kinda started a casual thing, which I ruined a few days before by nearly confessing it to someone during (yet another) panic attack, in which I very nearly jumped in front of a train – it started an argument and for some reason I grabbed her and really freaked her out. Now I have no-one.
I hope for the sake of everyone I care about that nobody misses me.
guess why I mentioned being on the third floor? I’ve tied my bed sheets together and I plan to hang myself out the window.

thank you for about 7 out of 17 great years and thanks I guess for the other s*** 10