I'm in a long distance relationship with a really lovely girl. I simply adore her and I think there is a great chance she could be THE ONE once we can get

15 years

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I’m in a long distance relationship with a really lovely girl. I simply adore her and I think there is a great chance she could be THE ONE once we can get the distance thing resolved.

But for some reason I can’t stop myself from hooking up with one of my sister’s friends here in town. She is actually a pretty mean woman and she’s even kind of ugly but she likes me for some reason and she lets me f*** her a** which I love. I don’t like her at all as a person and am so very scared of what might happen if my girl found out.

Why can’t I just stop meeting her?!?!?!

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I am so embarrassed to even say it but I can’t get it off my mind. I can’t stop fantasizing about getting strip searched. And also answering humiliating questions. I want to admit to someone that I got a hemorrhoid from wearing a b*** plug for too long and I want them to tease and laugh at me for it and make me bend over and show them. I imagine them touching it and mockingly asking if it hurts, knowing it does and this is just adding to how frozen i am from being so mortified. I need to stop thinking about this so much!!